Trolls under the bridge
27th July 2009
This was going to be a blog post, but it's far too long.
Watched some ugliness on the web last week. The Yarn Harlot has been getting unpleasant blog comments and emails from a person who tried to be anonymous. She escalated her attacks to the point where Stephanie mentioned it on her blog. When I looked on Saturday, that post had over a thousand comments, including one from the person who's been sending the unpleasant emails. Finding that person's blog and Twitter feed is trivial and at least one Yarn Harlot commenter left a comment there too.
I'm a big believer in owning your words. That's one reason my blog comments require an email address, even though I know those can be faked. I've seen anonymous forum posting abused, and blog comments are a similar situation. If there is nothing to link you to your words, perhaps people think they don't have to be responsible for what they said. It's certainly easier to say nasty things about someone you've never met. I met Stephanie briefly when she came to St Louis, and she was charming, despite the evil humidity and the packed library with about 50% of the chairs her audience needed. I like her writing and her sense of humour, and while I don't always agree with her, you can disagree without being a jerk.
If you surround yourself with people who think and believe the same as you do, you may never have to think again because no-one will challenge your views or disagree with you. Part of being a friend is pointing out when your friend is wrong, but doing it in a way as to keep being friends, and also agreeing to disagree sometimes. I have friends like this and I'm truly grateful for them. As one example, I don't agree with Stephanie on double pointed needles for knitting socks. You'll have to pry my magic loop needle out of my cold dead hands, but it doesn't hurt me that someone holds a differing opinion and publishes that opinion online and in books.
The best solution to an internet troll is don't feed the troll. "Turn the other cheek" doesn't mean being a doormat, but ignoring trolls can make them go away faster. Stephanie's post is very publicly feeding the troll, but it sounds like she's at the end of her rope and asking for help. I hope no-one gives the troll any attention, I hope everyone leaves her blog and Twitter feed alone, so she can say what she chooses in her space without disturbing anyone else. Free speech does not mean you have to be civilised or polite, or even correct, but you do have to stay within the law, and common courtesy requires you behave in a decent manner. Common sense and a knowledge of the Internet Archive means anything you say publicly online may persist for a very long time, and can be found by friends, relatives, enemies, and employers. It behoves everyone to act online with sense and decorum because there is no true anonymity online.
The troll's behaviour is not even slightly Christian, despite her claims that she is representing both Christians and Americans. If the troll really did take offence at the Canada Day post, which was largely a selection of quotes, a decent response is to stop reading Yarn Harlot, and move on. There are better things to give mental real estate to than picking a fight and being offended. It wasn't personal. Perhaps some of the quotes could have been chosen differently, but one person's pride in her country doesn't have to offend my pride in mine. People should be proud of their country.
Some of the comments on Stephanie's post bothered me. Happily many people posted to say the troll does not represent Americans, or Christians, but some comments were out of order.
One commenter said:
It has been noticed around the US that some people who seem to describe themselves as conservative Christians have not been handling things well since the elections here & many (But nowhere near all) have been behaving badly & just not handling things well.
This comment felt like a cheap shot at both conservatives and Christians, and it was unwarranted. The troll isn't behaving like a Christian, conservative or otherwise. What I've seen from the conservatives has been no worse than I saw from liberals after the prior election, and neither politics nor Christianity has anything to do with the troll's behaviour.
Many commenters described the troll as mentally ill. It's possible she is, but I truly dislike the assumption that all mentally ill people behave badly. Mentally healthy people are perfectly capable of behaving badly, and mental illness does not guarantee bad behaviour. It's a lazy label and it displays a horribly widespread prejudice. The fact that so many people used it is a reason people with mental illness often don't seek treatment or tell anyone about they need help.
I was bothered at the number of Americans saying in comments on the Canada Day post that they want to be Canadians, or are ashamed to be American. I'm not against moving country, I'm not against getting citizenship in another country, and I'm not against anyone moving to Canada if they want to, or England, or Borneo, or wherever. I am against people whining and not doing anything about it. The saying goes "change your job, or change your job." Either change the country you have, or live in a new one, but please don't whine, it's unproductive. Yes, Canada does things differently, but different does not necessarily mean better, or worse. If you are truly dissatisfied with America, then change your country. Hubby and I got American citizenship in late June, and I'm finding I quite like being an American.
In summary, mean people suck, don't feed the trolls, play nice, and love your country while respecting other countries.